Positive

I didn’t like the 80s pop cheer of slap-on-a-smile and-just-be-positive. It struck me, as a cynical teen and twenty-nothing, as simplistic and superficial. A blond version of sticking one’s head in the proverbial sand and not dealing with reality. But through the years I’ve learned that there is depth and power and strength in positivity. It is no more or less real or true than negativity.

Visualizing our successes, our dreams, as if they were already happening is powerful. Feeling it, tasting it, living it. Somehow it signals the universe that this is our path. Doubts beget more doubts. Faith begets more faith.

Between my sophmore and junior year in high school (yes, high school), my dad was stationed in Greece. My mom, my brother and I joined him as soon as school let out for the year. I spent three months in our small stucco apartment, on the sandy beaches, cruising aimlessly on bike and day dreaming. Day dreaming that I was going to be popular. That the two hottest guys would battle over me. That I would come back and take my junior year my storm. In the process I became happy, tan, thin, and started getting attention from lots of guys throughout the summer. By the time I got back to high school, I was on cloud nine. My day dreams, that I had fallen asleep to all summer and woken up to each morning, unfolded as naturally and as powerfully as a movie I had watched over and over. My junior year was exactly as my day dreaming had been. Watching the dreams and watching the school year, it would’ve been hard to say which one was real and which one was the dream. I didn’t realize until years and years later that this day dreaming I was doing, is referred to as visualization and that it is a powerful tool available to all of us, to make our dreams happen.

Years later, trapped in a relationship I didn’t want to be in and far from where I wanted to be geographically, I started to put a plan into motion: go back to Salt Lake City and land a dream job in an art gallery. I was young and had romaticized what it would be like to work in a gallery. In my day dreams I had even picked out the gallery, Salt Lake’s best modern gallery. I would play this dream in my head often while I worked towards my move. I got hired at Phillips Gallery and worked there for a few years. Just as I had dreamed. I had been vague about where I wanted my relationship to go and my reality reflected that vagueness with an on again off again dysfuntional relationship. My life was just as I had visualized it. Strong where my intention was clear. Vague and painful where I was unclear.

A few years ago I signed up for the Danskin Triathlon, something so out of character for me. I was really overweight and had never participated in sports, let alone competed. I spent months visualizing myself doing really well. I also spend those months working out, eating right. I passed the finish line in great time, in great shape, and as if I were reenacting a moment I had rehearsed to perfection. When I finished the race and beamed, it could not have felt more natural.

My life is what I believe it is. Time to start believing in my fitness, seeing myself succeeding. Visualize myself making the right food choices. Exercising. Losing weight. Fitting into great clothes. Finishing the half marathon in great shape. Looking awesome on my wedding day. Time to focus on how good I’ll feel about achieving my goals. Visualize all my successes.

How does my success look?

How does being thin feel?

What do I like to do?

What am I wearing?

Who is in my life?

How do I feel in the morning?

How does my ideal day look?

Here’s to some great day dreaming ladies!